Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? [to Michael] MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. Miss Honey: He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. . The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. 4. MAN: I think he blinked. ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. COUPLE 2 Come along, Bogtrotter. Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, MRS WORMWOOD . . BIG KIDS She's got no respect, that one. Babes, I'm on fire, here! A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] The Secret Garden . LAVENDER I didn't do it. My hands are tied. I? MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. . "Bambinatum est magitum." A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. Find the bally line and toe it, How can I make up my own pickup line? But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up . But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. . 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. What's this? I did! Trunchbull: MATILDA With your stupid books and your stupid reading. Isn't there some more? TOMMY One times two is two. Come stai? Just write. Smells chocolatey, eh? MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. 40 Dirty & Funny Pick-Up Lines - PsyCat Games MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Matilda? Oh, er, hello. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. Prettier barrelina! One should avoid confrontation when possible. What is the school motto, Miss Honey? Watch as her eyes light up and her smile turn into an impressed grin. The scene unfreezes. This is the cottage from your story! I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. I sold it for $1,158. MISS HONEY My mummy says I'm a miracle. So innocent I asked a thousand questions. But she is a squib. 6. PARTY ENTERTAINER MATILDA Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. Where is the maggot known as Nigel? Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Good show. It's not even eight thirty! She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] Zinnia Wormwood: Oh, no, it's a lovely book. . Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. Please! Oh! Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! Harry Wormwood: Where he's been for the last hour, actually. This miracle . Quick, jackets! Then get out of town. Matilda Quotes RUDOLPHO Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! They're cops, Dad. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. FBI Agent Bill: Kim . Just knock on the door. Excellent man. That's exactly what you've done. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. But the "tomato" is a very good word. Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. Now, can anyone read this? Bruce! And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. Like hell! They're the bane of my life. Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! Harry Wormwood: No, it's fine. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR You'll fit it in. ACROBAT [off-stage] "It is our destiny ". FBI Agent Bob: Look what you've done, you stupid woman. MISS HONEY Well, Matilda Wormwood. The police decided he killed himself. Stop! And remember to be eXtremely careful. And if you cry it will be (W) double. DOCTOR Hanging down by your ears. . Yes. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. Agatha Trunchbull: 1. You did this! . I'm not paying it. Matilda: Stuff it in. How sweet. LAVENDER What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? [walking out of the room excitedly] [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house]. 4. I think he blinked. [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] No one's going to look if you don't stand out. RUDOLPHO In the cupboard. All right. You should stay out of trouble Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. Sing, children. And I will Teach you a thing or two. He's fantastic! Miss Honey: Cancelled, because my wife is . RUDOLPHO How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. Matilda: MR WORMWOOD My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! The apple never rots far from the tree! Connections What? Loud, loud, loud, loud! 21. BACKGROUND SINGERS MISS HONEY MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN YoU listen here, my dear, MRS WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. I did *not* glue my hat to my head! [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. Bruce! The table stops and the hands hit the ground. [hands Michael the cookies] If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. A spotlight searches the theater. Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. Yeah. Just go up and introduce yourself. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. %PDF-1.5 We never thought it was possible, I'm not guilty! Hmm. See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. (Bruce!) My mummy says I'm a miracle. . Wonderful. MISS HONEY My mummy says I'm a miracle, cancelled! [His stomach growls.] Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. MATILDA DOCTOR A child. Is like the TARDIS: Harry Wormwood: 107+ Best Pick Up Lines for Flirting [Cute, Cheesy, Funny] Three times two is six. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? Agatha Trunchbull: If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! FBI Agent Bob: Jenny: [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Narrator: Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes. Miss Honey: FBI Agent Bob: Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] Agatha Trunchbull: Just you wait for phys-ed. her knickers stayed stuck to the seat! . MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. CHILDREN [into recorder] Is it time for school yet, mum? The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". [to Nigel] When did this happen? MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. She misses me so much. Nonsense. MISS HONEY [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. [to his partner] I'm fed up with all this reading! A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? Oh, yes. MRS PHELPS 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! Zinnia Wormwood: Matilda: His whatchamacallit. Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. Oh, no, you are not "full". I want to be in school. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. . Ooh, me, me, me, miss! Michael chokes the carrot]. Four times two is eight. Right. Trunchbull: Matilda: She seems not to know that she's special at all. Agatha Trunchbull: NIGEL . The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. . . DOCTOR [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] . MISS TRUNCHBULL He drops it again. MRS WORMWOOD How dare they speak to me like that! 2. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. Zinnia Wormwood: I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. You're not a little girl. Thirteen times two is twenty-six. . 20. [Talking about the cake] . Might she be a little brighter than her class? My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. Well, here I am. MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. As long as you dont know it with the volume up. You didn't like the chokey, did you? MRS PHELPS MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. Bye, Mrs Phelps! But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . MRS WORMWOOD Chew your food; you're an animal! Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. Yourself, Matilda? He did what you asked. [He rips the towel off to reveal that his hair is green.] MATILDA | Mrs. Wormwood: I . [insulted] RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. Whee! MATILDA collects her books. [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Go on, Brucey! This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! You Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Indeed, sir. Yes, sir. I mean, take a look at you and me. Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. Of course! The vanity rises again, signifying morning. MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. What can I do? Has incredible upper-body strength. MISS HONEY Matilda: She has never seen a! Amanda Thripp: Yes, Miss Trunchbull! MR WORMWOOD 100 Best Tinder Pickup Lines for All Your 2023 Matches - Reader's Digest Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. What are you talking about? See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? Jenny : Not as brave as you. Shut up! Miss Honey doesn't want you. MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Even me. BRUCE I've got my deal today with the Russians. Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. . School is really fun, according to my mum. Well done, Bogtrotter. He'd call me bumblebee. Don't be disgusting! Michael: [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] Jenny: You seem to think that people like people what are clever. To hammer throwing, life, and school Are you listening? I'm in the zone, doll! Hello! MISS HONEY But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. It's the Trunchbull's speciality. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! . ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Oh, Matilda! You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. AAAHH! Now sit up and look at the TV. % See you tomorrow! You gotta give yourself permission to shine. We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. She found a small cottage. Wot? And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! I think you've got something in your eye. When I grow up . But it's a truth empirical. One look at my face and it's plain to see. In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. . They're individual! They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. I want you around here now with another car! google_color_text="5F6A72"; MISS HONEY . . CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. A little more bah-da, ba ba ba-da bom! MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. . Mr. Wormwood. I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . MISS HONEY Tess of the D'urbervilles . MR WORMWOOD Well, I'd better hang around just in case. Restores my faith in human kind. My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. Just so you all know, she's my best friend! [He laughs.] That's right, sir. What? Zinnia Wormwood: . DOCTOR Leave it alone, Jenny. BIG KID [TAMIKA] 2. MISS HONEY . When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. Yes! I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. But I'm a barrelina It's . Listen to this: "It was the best of times. And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. . Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. A little less dressing like your mum. I'll tell you something. Not a jot! No, no, no, no [ad lib. stream MR WORMWOOD She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. MRS WORMWOOD Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. The world's greatest acrobat! The cook enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. Matilda, 4 Years: Oops! 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. Matilda, isn't it? Oh, my good Lord. MR WORMWOOD That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. That was Miss Honey. Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: You missed it. Seven times two is fourteen. And she keeps trying to tell me stories, Harry. Or just a coincidence? You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. Not a dot did I stray from the plot. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. ALL COUPLES: What? . MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass.