Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. Its very presumptuous. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). PJ. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. I was excited to see your reaction. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? What if you really are proud of the person? But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. They just say it. By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". Patricia Velasquez. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. . I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. Think of things people have often praised. by Carolyn Steber. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. Thank you for your kind words.. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. Let me tell you why. A strong argument is a solid one. But one doesn't want to say that they're not proud of their country if they're looking to lead it. And Im so ashamed of you. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Second, he must know you well. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". 7. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. Tell Them You Care. Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. I'm so proud of your painting!" Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. First, there's physical attraction. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. That makes you a living miracle. Here subject and object are the same person. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. I have always struggled with this word. Thank you for starting this. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. For what? 14. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. 1. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. In what context? Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. 8. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. And Ill encourage them to be proud. "How long have you been sober?". The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. Looking for some extra money from your parents? July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. . If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. Its probably contempt and anger. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. Love you so much. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. Required fields are marked *. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). #8: They say you need to change. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. 4. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. Date TBA. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. Be proud that you are here. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. B Blue Apple Senior Member Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. All Rights Reserved. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. Thats my life goal. 2. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. You shouldnt be. "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. I dont think that without your support I can make it. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . Your email address will not be published. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. Be proud of who you are. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. 3. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. Thank you all, too. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". Yeah, this means a lot to me. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. But is that really very useful? Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. Thanks for making us proud. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. 12. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Language gets corrupted. It may not display this or other websites correctly. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. So, lets get started! 2. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. We learn from every step we take. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. Talents Compliments. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. Thanks. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? You reject that person's generosity. 26. So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. A very concise and articulate post. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. Approval is different to acceptance. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. 5. 16. Youre my friend, not my parents! Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Oh.. very good. Why is this such a contentious phrase? I teach high school. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. Thank you. 7. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. . Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. Instead of acting out of rage over . Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. 6. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. 9. And guess what? 14. . Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Who determines the meaning of words? They didn't have to do that. Larissa is passionate about the skills taught in Effectiveness Training. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . Family Tree. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. However, is this what happens? It's nothing bad or unusual. We had a really nice time. Youll feel mad and resentful. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. Thanks, buddy! Who is saying this to whom? Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. . But this will be seen as an overreaction. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, Well, that truly makes my day. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. They seem to make him quite happy. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. Thanks. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. I wouldnt get anxious about it. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. 6. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. 1. 1. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. Might as well as them to stop saying yall or bless her heart.. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. You would have to know the whole story. (My answer might surprise you. "Im proud of you!" Graduates: TBA, Grandparents: PET for Grandparents. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. Also, as bilabial says, I like the recognize traits he values in himself, like his thoroughness and carefulness. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! 4. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Don't remind them how far they've come. Look him in the eyes and smile. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". Refresher workshop for P.E.T. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. that he harrassed them or . My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. 3. 9. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. I am very proud of you too; we all are. I'm so proud of your painting!" I again said. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. What is BBC Future? If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? 8. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. ". Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". "You make me so mad.". This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. You are using an out of date browser.